What did you say?!
Everyone knows me. When a student says a smart comment about a rule or action I have to help them prepare for the workplace, I often times bite my tongue, but every now and then a smart comment slips out.
Several of my students ask to go to the bathroom at the start of class. Then, during tech break they leave to go to the bathroom again. The time span is 45 minutes. I decided to bring this issue up with the class.
- I was no longer allowing two trips in the same period to the bathroom.
- My students reciprocated by saying they were going to the water fountain.
- I reciprocated by asking why it was taking almost 6 minutes to get a drink.
- They said they "we weren't doing anything wrong"
- I said your employer wouldn't be happy with the time spent off the job site, and I'm responsible for you. Therefore, my rule is non-negotiable.
- One student stated "Why are you blaming the whole class, rather than just the violators. You're going to have a horrible career if you keep getting caught up in the little stuff."
- This is where I can no longer bite my tongue "Oh so you are an educational expert now?"
- The student, "No I'm a humanitarian expert and you are being ridiculous."
- Me, "You, the student, a humanitarian expert, right." and I walked away.
- The student continues to spout off angry remarks at me and I choice to ignore the comments, knowing I will only get more heated.
This was not my finest teaching moment. I am ashamed that I engaged in the spat regarding my "non-negotiable rule." As my cooperating teacher has told me a million times, I DO NOT NEED TO JUSTIFY MY ACTIONS to the students, only my bosses if there is a big enough issue.
After Reflecting on the situation, I would have changed it to go something like this:
- I was no longer allowing two trips in the same period to go out of the room for any reason.
- If They said they "we weren't doing anything wrong"
- I'd say "Not everyone was doing something wrong, this is just the new rule in place to may it more like a job site."
This is less accusatory, less combative, and will provoke less emotion from the students. After the one piece of rationale I give them, I simple would repeat this new rule is non-negotiable, until they drop the topic.
I am human, I am a student teacher, and I am learning. I'm proud that I recognize this was not a good reaction to the scenario, and I am proud I thought through an alternate situation to the future.
I am so proud of you for sharing this....and I look forward to what you learn from the post.
ReplyDeleteWe are human. We do say things that perhaps we regret or frame things in a way that does not get to our intended destination.
I do agree with Alex about the idea, "you are the boss - justification not required"
However, I also have a sliver of thought to say - If they have a break, let them have a break as long as they are not violating school rules.
Keep your "time and space" as valuable/precious. If I tell students our instructional time is our most valuable time and I go hard during that time with them, I should be okay with them using their non-instructional time at their discretion...right?
just a thought on a Friday morning...keep on keeping on :)
Reflection is key and the first few years are really hard. No matter how much experience you have, there are going to be instances where you handle something poorly.
ReplyDeleteMy advice, don't back down on a rule you put in place. This also means don't make a rule you can't live with all year/semester and that you aren't willing to manage. This rule is now in place and it is a fair policy. Now, enforce it calmly and consistently. There will be continued push back and it is important to be very matter of fact about the situation moving forward vs adding any emotion on your part. When I have struggled with students being out of the room too much or for too long, I remind them of what time I should see them back when they ask to leave. If they can't do that, I let them know they have lost the opportunity to leave the room the next day and that they should take care of anything they need before the bell rings to start class. A student who is just taking advantage because they can usually gets it in gear and does the right thing within a week. Someone who is set on acting out will be harder to break of their habits - but those are few and far between and they'll stop more quickly too if the reaction from you is boring.
Lisa! That you for a great reflection. My two pieces of advice:
ReplyDelete1. Keep the rule and be consistent. As soon as you loose your consistency the students will start testing their limits. This is when things can spiral down hill.
2. I personally would pull the student aside one on one and apologize for the shortness and negative tone that I used, not for the rule but for the tone. This models positive behavior and shows them that even if you do not agree you can still have a positive relationship.
Keep rocking it Lisa!